LOTUS blog

I think I’ve found my sarcasm soul mate (sorry, JOTUS).  Recently, I came across the site I’m Bringing Blogging Back.  To be honest, I haven’t really read much of the site.  I’m just obsessed with the “Harriet Carter” tag.  Each week it features a couple products and photos from the Harriet Carter catalog.  You know, the catalog with the 80s models (by which I mean models with hairdos from 1980 and octogenarians) and kooky products.  The catalog is also a good test for whether or not you’re old.  If you ever see a product and think “Ooooh, that could come in handy!”  you may as well hike up your pants and move to Florida. 

Each week the comments on the featured products are hilarious.   You must read the full Harriet Carter tag archives.  Here’s a taste:

Where’s my t-shirt that says, “No Shit, Ugly.” This sexy beast has a sexified nightgown, or “Sexgown” as I like to call it, that says, “Not Tonight Deer.” Um, yeah. Actually thanks for the night off. No really, thanks. I’m not sure if while you’re doing your hair right now you have access to a mirror or mirror-like substance, but you are wearing a nightgown/sexgown with deers dressed up on it in a bathrobe and slippers. Yeah, you do. Really. Check it out. Oh, and you also have 3 rollers in your hair. Yeah, you do. Look up. They’re in just the front of your hair. Alright! There’s nothing I like more then to have my girl curling her bangs before bed. Hot hot hot! Sexxxxxy. Even better bring that hairdryer with you because I love seeing how knotty your hair is in the wind. Hot. Is that some gum I see in there too? Sweet, bring it into the bedroom with us. Is this chick for real? Don’t flatter yourself you cocky bitch. Wow, did I just get mad at the sexgown model? Hmmm. Interesting. Perhaps I have some resentment issues at the moment. Hmmm. Food for thought. Well, thanks Harriet for helping me to work through some of my issues. Now get your fine ass into that sexgown and swing by my apartment you naughty little douche.

My friend Trevor at Who’s Your Nanny? is a great cook and just started posting his recipe of the week.  I’ve been toying with the same idea, but decided it would be easier to just link to him.  Also, I’m a super picky eater, so anything I post will have half of the ingredients taken out. 

Anyway, this week Trevor is serving up Seared Yellowfin Tuna with Pomegranate Salsa.  For more of Trevor’s recipes, check out his cookbook, 50 Ways to Impress Your Girlfriend’s Parents (When Nothing Else Works).

On Monday, Dear Abby answered a letter from “Cut or Run in Wisconsin.”

DEAR ABBY: Most people complain about their jobs because they feel they don’t make enough money. My problem is the opposite. I love my job, but I think I make too much money.

My job is mostly simple work that could be done by anybody — yet I earn almost as much as my husband, who is a supervisor in a technical field. My boss always gives me excellent reviews and doesn’t seem concerned.

It’s nice to have the kind of job that isn’t stressful. But I feel guilty that a lot of people with more difficult jobs make less than I do. Should I tell my boss to give me a pay cut, or take the money and run? — CUT OR RUN IN WISCONSIN

LOTUS has a limited number of signed copies of Ann Coulter’s latest bestseller, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans.  It makes a great Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or Graduation gift!  The cost is $35 per book, which includes USPS priority shipping.  Order securely through Paypal by clicking below. 

If above PayPal link doesn’t work for you, e-mail LOTUS at lisajanine1112 (at) yahoo.com.