Help write this valedictorian’s speech

Written by Lotus on Sunday, 27 of April , 2008 at 10:41 pm

A high school valedictorian asked FARK readers to help him write his graduation speech, sort of like the famous “Wear Sunscreen” column.  By the way, it’s usually falsely attributed to Kurt Vonnegut.  I imagine that the original author, Mary Schmich, can’t be too upset given that many writers would love to be compared to Vonnegut.

Anyway, submit your pearls of wisdom or vote on the best.  Here are some of my favorite submissions:

You will end up regretting what you didn’t do more then all the stupid things that you do end up doing. So kiss the girl/guy and stay for the last dance.

Don’t cook bacon naked.

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

When you’re struggling to grab the brass ring in life, be aware that you might be already holding a gold one in your other hand.

Go out, make millions, and never forget your good buddy the valedictorian.

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Category: Back When I Was a Kid,Higher Education

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LOTUS lives in Northern Virginia. NOTE: The views expressed on LOTUS blog are the author’s alone. Organizations listed on this blog are for identification purposes only.