Rhapsody in Blue

Written by Lotus on Saturday, 6 of September , 2008 at 6:11 pm

I’ve had this music running in my head for the past week and just had to share it.  Yes, you may recognize it from a recent commercial.  Some idiot commented that it’s the “theme song for United.” 

Click here for Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue with Leonard Bernstein at piano.  (Note: There are two parts.)

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Category: LOTUS Recommends

LOTUS Exclusive: Jeri Barr’s Chocolate-Toffee Cookie Bars

Written by Lotus on Sunday, 29 of June , 2008 at 5:01 pm

Since both McCain and Obama’s cookie submissions both left me unsatisfied, I contacted the Bob Barr campaign for a recipe.  I give you Jeri Barr’s Bars!

Chocolate-Toffee Cookie Bars

3/4 cup Sugar

3/4 cup Light Brown Sugar

1 cup Butter-Flavored Crisco

1 teaspoon Vanilla

2 Eggs

2-1/4 cups Flour

1 teaspoon Salt

1 teaspoon Baking Soda

1 cup Semi-sweet Chocolate Chips

1 cup Heath Bar (chopped), approximately 20 miniature bars

1/4 cup Georgia Pecans (chopped)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  In large bowl, cream sugars, Crisco and vanilla.  On low speed, add egg, one at a time.  Set aside.  Sift together flour, salt and baking soda in separate bowl.  Gradually add dry mixture to creamed mixture and beat at medium speech.  Fold in chips and toffee.  Spread entire mixture into lightly greased 13 x 9 pan.  Top with pecans.  Bake for 20-25 minutes or until brown on top.  Cool completely and cut into bars.

These are in the oven right now.  Pictures coming soon.

Since I have some leftover McCain Oatmeal Butterscotch cookies, I’ve decided that we’ll put Barr’s bars up against them tomorrow.  Stay tuned for the results and remember that the cookie contest has predicted the last four presidential elections!


UPDATE: Barr’s bars are currently beating McCain’c Oatmeal Butterscotch Cookies by 6 to 1.  Let me remind me you that this is not a case of Barr taking cookie votes away from McCain.  Any votes that McCain’s cookies don’t receive are because the family did not come up with an adequate recipe.

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Category: LOTUS Recommends

LOTUS Comes Around: McCain 2008!

Written by Lotus on Friday, 16 of May , 2008 at 4:20 pm

Well, sort of.  Check out my McCain 2008 line:

T-Shirts — Available in men, women, junior, and plus-size.


Notebook — Great for taking notes at Wednesday Meetings


Bumper Stickers

Click here to purchase!


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Category: LOTUS Decides 2008,LOTUS Recommends

Hey Ugly, Check Out This Site

Written by Lotus on Thursday, 13 of March , 2008 at 9:49 pm

I think I’ve found my sarcasm soul mate (sorry, JOTUS).  Recently, I came across the site I’m Bringing Blogging Back.  To be honest, I haven’t really read much of the site.  I’m just obsessed with the “Harriet Carter” tag.  Each week it features a couple products and photos from the Harriet Carter catalog.  You know, the catalog with the 80s models (by which I mean models with hairdos from 1980 and octogenarians) and kooky products.  The catalog is also a good test for whether or not you’re old.  If you ever see a product and think “Ooooh, that could come in handy!”  you may as well hike up your pants and move to Florida. 

Each week the comments on the featured products are hilarious.   You must read the full Harriet Carter tag archives.  Here’s a taste:

Where’s my t-shirt that says, “No Shit, Ugly.” This sexy beast has a sexified nightgown, or “Sexgown” as I like to call it, that says, “Not Tonight Deer.” Um, yeah. Actually thanks for the night off. No really, thanks. I’m not sure if while you’re doing your hair right now you have access to a mirror or mirror-like substance, but you are wearing a nightgown/sexgown with deers dressed up on it in a bathrobe and slippers. Yeah, you do. Really. Check it out. Oh, and you also have 3 rollers in your hair. Yeah, you do. Look up. They’re in just the front of your hair. Alright! There’s nothing I like more then to have my girl curling her bangs before bed. Hot hot hot! Sexxxxxy. Even better bring that hairdryer with you because I love seeing how knotty your hair is in the wind. Hot. Is that some gum I see in there too? Sweet, bring it into the bedroom with us. Is this chick for real? Don’t flatter yourself you cocky bitch. Wow, did I just get mad at the sexgown model? Hmmm. Interesting. Perhaps I have some resentment issues at the moment. Hmmm. Food for thought. Well, thanks Harriet for helping me to work through some of my issues. Now get your fine ass into that sexgown and swing by my apartment you naughty little douche.

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Category: LOTUS Recommends

Trevor’s Recipe of the Week

Written by Lotus on Saturday, 8 of March , 2008 at 1:56 am

My friend Trevor at Who’s Your Nanny? is a great cook and just started posting his recipe of the week.  I’ve been toying with the same idea, but decided it would be easier to just link to him.  Also, I’m a super picky eater, so anything I post will have half of the ingredients taken out. 

Anyway, this week Trevor is serving up Seared Yellowfin Tuna with Pomegranate Salsa.  For more of Trevor’s recipes, check out his cookbook, 50 Ways to Impress Your Girlfriend’s Parents (When Nothing Else Works).

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Category: LOTUS Recommends,Trevor's Recipe of the Week

The Dog is Back

Written by Lotus on Tuesday, 19 of February , 2008 at 8:23 pm

Via TMZ:

TMZ has learned that Duane “Dog” Chapman will be back in business and back on the air on A&E. Woof!

A network official confirms to TMZ that the show is going back into production, but they’ve not yet set a premiere date. As of now, they’re gearing up — big time — in Hawaii and production will begin ASAP. Makeup artists and camera crews have been hired, and houses and cars have been rented, all for the return of the show.

A&E had suspended production on “Dog the Bounty Hunter” indefinitely after a recording surfaced featuring Chapman making racial slurs. Chapman immediately began a tour of forgiveness, working with CORE and other groups to promote racial equality. We’re told network execs were “very pleased” with Dog’s attempt to make amends and his reaching out to members of the African American community.

A&E isn’t just making this decision out of the goodness of their hearts either. The show was insanely popular for the network, here and internationally — airing in over 20 countries.

Gratuitous picture of LOTUS and Dog at the CORE Dinner:

LOTUS and Dog

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Category: LOTUS Recommends,Trash TV

Conservatives, I implore you…

Written by Lotus on Wednesday, 23 of January , 2008 at 12:32 am

Please click on the CPAC 2008 ad at HumanEvents.com.  Look at the other ads we’re up against!

(btw, I assume the competing ad is part of an ad service (i.e. Google ads) and something they don’t control.  Please don’t blame this wonderful publication.)


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Category: C-Word,LOTUS Recommends

One for Me, One for You

Written by Lotus on Sunday, 25 of November , 2007 at 9:19 pm

Today’s lazy Sunday was brought to you by three NFL games, a Godfather II and Sopranos marathon on A&E and pre-Cyber Monday deals.  The (financial) downside of the seductive holiday deals is that people often overspend on gifts for themselves.  I’m certainly guilty.  I often justify over-shopping by telling myself that I’ll buy two of something in case there’s someone I’m forgetting.  Right… 

Anyway, here are a few of the online stores that are taking my money this Christmas:

Target — Free shipping on a lot of items, but like Amazon.com and Overstock.com, one order may come in several shipments, so be sure the delivery date for all of them is before December 25.

Perpetual Kid — Love this site!  It’s great for stocking stuffers.  I guarantee you’ll have a unique gift.  After all, who else sells tattoos for the elderly and edible candy cane-flavored shot glasses?

Overstock.com — Ok, I was disappointed with several of my purchases, so use Overstock with caution.  A lot of my friends are big fans though, so I thought I’d include it in this list anyway.    All you ever hear on the-website-that-must-not-be-named is “Free shipping on returns.”  I tried to return something today and they actually do charge you for shipping if they deem your reason for returning the item as unworthy.  By the way, the reason I’m returning said item is because the photo was misleading, i.e. item was labeled as a non-stick pan and photographed from the top. It’s actually a non-stick bowl.  So, Website-That-Must-Not-Be-Named, feel the wrath of my strikethrough!

Old Navy — Bigger selection, less tweeners than the brick and morter shows.  I love their flat $5 shipping.

Macy’s — My coworkers can attest to the fact that I have a Macys.com addiction as they’ve signed for many packages.  They often have a bigger selection of brands than the Macy’s that’s less than one mile from house.  In fact, returns are so easy that I usually return by mail instead of going to the brick and morter store.  I’m all about minimizing human interaction.

Amazon — No explanation needed.  We both know you’re going to give them more money.

Uncommon Goods — This site is one of my worst “one for me, one for you” indulgences.  See Illusion Wine Glasses.  Another favorite is the Global Warming Mug — I love giving this to my Exxon Mobil fat cat friends.

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Category: Clicks of the Day,LOTUS Recommends

Jen Lancaster: Author, Diva, Killer of Dreams

Written by Lotus on Saturday, 6 of October , 2007 at 10:09 pm

[Welcome Coulter fans!  Please check out the rest of my blog here.] 

I have a handful of friends that have tried to encourage me to write a book.  I jokingly say that “I’m not into politics,” and brush their comments aside.  However, I’ve always been interested in writing a novel… until I read Jen Lancaster’s books.  Her two books, Bitter is the New Black and Bright Lights, Big Ass are the books I wish I had written.  Buy them now.  Her books aren’t the typical “Chick Lit” formula that clutters the paperback section at Target (i.e. girl dates a-hole, ignores guy friend, gets dumped by a-hole, realizes guy friend is the one she’s always loved).  Speaking of Target, Jen Lancaster refers to Target, Ikea and Trader Joe’s as “the trinity.”  Love her — I’m going to coin a new term — “Jenius.”

In a recent blog post, Jen highlights a recent piece of “hate mail” she received:

Dear Jennifer,

I enjoyed your first “literary effort” a great deal although the astericks [sic – I think she means quotation marks][and possibly a different spelling] got a bit annoying, I do realize that’s part of your [sic] “schtick.”  Naturally, I purchased your follow up and quite frankly was instantly turned off by the Fox “News” and Sean Hannity (“Sean Insanity” as I refer to him) references.  The final nail in the coffin though, was the part where you are on the bus and pull the Ann Coulter (“Man Coulter” imho) out of your tote bag.  My limit with you particular sensibilities was reached and I didn’t even bother to use the drop box at the library (as a donation.)  It went right into the garbage compacter (sic) (to make certain it was good and truly crushed and destroyed.)

I feel bad for you.  You seemed like someone cool to hang out with, fun to read, etc…


Jen writes:

Mare says she feels sorry for me. 

Which… really?

Because I feel sorry for you, Mare.  I’m sorry you feel that opposing (albeit unknown) viewpoints are such an anathema.  I’m sorry your mind is so closed that you can’t get past the specifics of a small fraction of the TV I watch and the books that I read.  And I’m sorry you had to burn the time and gray matter this morning to let me know exactly how offensive my (unspoken) views are.

Again, you’ll be missed. 


P.S.  You realize now I’m obligated to take the two dollars I earned from your purchase to buy Ann’s newest, right?


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Category: Conservatives I Love,LOTUS Recommends

LOTUS Recommends: TravelwithMoody.com

Written by Lotus on Thursday, 4 of October , 2007 at 10:50 pm

A friend of mine has a great discount travel site that’s worth checking out.  My favorite section is the “Last Minute Deals” — deals so good that you don’t have time to talk yourself out of taking the vacation time.  Mr. Moody of TravelwithMoody.com is a wonderful Christian conservative with a heart of gold.  Be sure to bookmark this site and book your flight, hotel or vacation package with him!

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Category: LOTUS Recommends


LOTUS lives in Northern Virginia. NOTE: The views expressed on LOTUS blog are the author’s alone. Organizations listed on this blog are for identification purposes only.