Stormy’s Platform

Written by Lotus on Wednesday, 7 of April , 2010 at 9:23 pm

For those unsure of where adult film star (and likely Senate candidate) Stormy Daniels stands on the issues, I’ve put together this handy guide based on her extensive filmography.

Operation Tropical Stormy (Strong on national defense)

The Price of Lust (Concerned with rising cost of living and inflation)

Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre (Able to relate to blue collar workers)

Spreading My Seed (Supports America’s agriculture)

Porking with Pride (Supports 4-H programs)

Thumpin’ Melons (Supports America’s farmers)

Trailer Trash Nurses (Supports continued education programs for single mothers)

Space Nuts (Supports increased NASA funding)

Breast Friends (Supports buddy check breast cancer education)

Finally Legal (Supports voter registration drives)

Young and Anal (Supports Congressional internship program for detail-oriented students)

Bless Their Little Holes (Supports midnight golf for inner city youth)

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Category: Random Stuff,Womyn

Hey Miss Desperate, still looking for Mr. Right?

Written by Lotus on Sunday, 6 of April , 2008 at 6:22 pm

Like other online predators, have you noticed that lately all websites ask for your age, sex and location before forwarding you on to the content?  Advertisers use these stats to tailor ads, many for the same product, to different audiences.  Case in point, this recent ad I saw on Facebook:

Hi, desperate, still looking for Mr. Right?

Here’s how the same company advertises to my male friend:

Hi, stud, here are some women to bang, but don’t let them hold you down!

Yeah, there are plenty of successful women out there!  Chances are they’ve seen the first ad above and have low self-esteem and  expectations!  Go get ’em, stud!

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Category: Womyn

Oh no, what will her parents think?!?!?!

Written by Lotus on Saturday, 15 of March , 2008 at 12:05 am

Eliot Spitzer’s (among others’) whore is fielding offers from magazines that specialize in nekkid women and open legs.  The latest offer is for $1 million from Larry Flynt’s Hustler.  I’m confused, isn’t it usually struggling singer, Hustler, and then prostitute?

By the way, check out Spinner’s list of top 20 songs about prostitutes.  Unfortunately, there is one HUGE omission.

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Category: Womyn

Bureaucrat Seeks Abby’s Advice

Written by Lotus on Wednesday, 5 of March , 2008 at 8:59 pm

On Monday, Dear Abby answered a letter from “Cut or Run in Wisconsin.”

DEAR ABBY: Most people complain about their jobs because they feel they don’t make enough money. My problem is the opposite. I love my job, but I think I make too much money.

My job is mostly simple work that could be done by anybody — yet I earn almost as much as my husband, who is a supervisor in a technical field. My boss always gives me excellent reviews and doesn’t seem concerned.

It’s nice to have the kind of job that isn’t stressful. But I feel guilty that a lot of people with more difficult jobs make less than I do. Should I tell my boss to give me a pay cut, or take the money and run? — CUT OR RUN IN WISCONSIN

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Category: Womyn

Nothing says “Good job” like a firm, open-palm slap on the behind

Written by Lotus on Saturday, 23 of February , 2008 at 11:56 pm

In 1943 many companies were breaking new ground by hiring women.   Here are a few gems from the July 1943 issue of Transportation magazine:

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.

When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.


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Category: Womyn

Don’t tase me, Mom!

Written by Lotus on Sunday, 6 of January , 2008 at 10:19 pm

Taser parties are the latest craze.

I wonder what marketing genius decided that in order to get women to buy something they just have to make it pink.

Thanks, but LOTUS will stick to what she knows.

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Category: Womyn

The Smartest Woman in the World

Written by Lotus on Tuesday, 1 of January , 2008 at 9:58 pm

Thomas Houlahan from the Middle East Times via Sweetness & Light via Ann Coulter:

Last weekend after returning to my office from the television studios of a major network where I had done a brief segment on the security of Pakistan’s nuclear weapons, I turned on CNN to watch their coverage of the Bhutto assassination’s aftermath.

Sen. Hillary Clinton was telling Wolf Blitzer that she didn’t think “the Pakistani government at this time under President Musharraf has any credibility at all.”

She then said something that betrayed a serious lack of knowledge about Pakistan and called her own credibility on the subject into serious question.

“If President Musharraf wishes to stand for election,” she told Blitzer, “then he should abide by the same rules that every other candidate will have to follow.”

My immediate reaction was: “Did I hear that correctly?”

As a Pakistan analyst, I know for a fact that Pervez Musharraf doesn’t wish to stand for election any time soon.

The upcoming elections are for the next parliament. Musharraf was just elected president of Pakistan, overwhelmingly, by popularly elected electors on Oct. 6. He’s just begun his five-year term as the president of the country. Why would he ever want to run for one seat in parliament? It wouldn’t make sense.

However, I checked the transcript of the interview later. That’s exactly what she said.

My next reaction was: “Maybe she misspoke. Candidates do a lot of interviews. Not every sentence comes out the way they want it to.”

No such luck.

Sunday morning, ABC’s This Week ran an interview George Stephanopoulos had done with Sen. Clinton on Friday.

The interview produced this gem:

Referring to a possible delay in the elections, Sen. Clinton said: “I think it will be very difficult to have a real election. You know, Nawaz Sharif (leader of the PML-N, an opposition party) has said he’s not going to compete. The PPP is in disarray with Benazir’s assassination. He (President Pervez Musharraf) could be the only person on the ballot. I don’t think that’s a real election.”

And then it hit me:

Sen. Clinton really didn’t know that the upcoming elections were for individual seats in Pakistan’s parliament. She actually believed that Bhutto, Nawaz and Musharraf would be facing off as individual candidates for leadership of the country in the upcoming elections.

Sen. Clinton didn’t know that Nawaz Sharif isn’t allowed to run for office in Pakistan because of a felony conviction. She didn’t know that President Musharraf won’t be on the ballot because he’s already been elected.

Sen. Clinton, a candidate for the leadership of the free world, apparently doesn’t know the first thing about the country referred to by some as “the most dangerous place on earth.”

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Category: Womyn

My male friends will live to be 100

Written by Lotus on Sunday, 2 of December , 2007 at 5:14 pm

Softpedia via Fark:

A German research published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News said that men staring at women’s breasts in fact prolong their lives with years.

“Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

The team led by Weatherby was made up of researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, and found this results after monitoring for 5 years the health of 200 male subjects, half of whom were asked to look at busty females daily, while the other half had to abstain from doing so.

For five years, the boob oglers presented a lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and decreased risk of coronary artery disease.

“Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There’s no question: Gazing at large breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half.” said Weatherby, who even recommended that men aged over 40 should spend at least 10 minutes daily admiring breasts sized “D-cup” or larger.

She said that this was as healthy as going to the gym for 30 minutes daily and prolonged a man’s life by five years.

Sorry, guys, no pictures in this post.

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Category: Womyn

Live-Blogging the Democratic Debate

Written by Lotus on Tuesday, 30 of October , 2007 at 9:12 pm

I said wanted to watch The Biggest Loser, but this isn’t what I had in mind.  So, here it goes.  (btw… I blame Toni for putting me through the misery of watching this debate.)

9:06p: Yes, Mr. Trial Lawyer, give me a lesson on trust and integrity.  Tell us again what the dead baby said to you.

Coming up next, Senator Clinton will lecture us on the importance of reporting rape and sexual harassment.

9:09p: Clinton: “a trillion dollar tax increase on the elderly.”  Apparently, Democrats can just make pronouncements without anyone questioning them. 

9:15p: Senator Chris Dodd learned from the 2002 Iraq vote that votes mean something!  OMGWTFBBQ!?!?!  Great strategy, Senator.  Tell the people you’re too stupid to be president.

9:16p: Senator Obama talks about offering Iran “carrots.”  This reminds me of a quote from former UN Ambassador (and ACU board member!) John Bolton’s new book.  The Democrats’ strategy with Iran: Speak softly and carry a big carrot.

9:21p: Oh yeah, Bill Richardson is still in the race.  Speaking of carrots, I wish I had Richardson’s tan.

9:23p: Everyone keeps claiming they “are the only one” to do such and such.  Way to lead!  Didn’t they criticize the President for “going alone”?

9:24p: Russert: “Will you pledge that Iran will not have a nuclear bomb while you are president?”  Come on, someone show some true Democratic leadership and admit they really don’t care!

9:26: Biden is the reason you NEVER compliment a Democrat.  It’s totally pointless.  No, Biden, the greatest threat to this country’s sovereignty is for one of the people on this stage to be elected president.

You know if I were one of these second and third tier guys, I would just be totally crazy and say “I GUARANTEE there will be no nuclear weapons in Iran.”  Who cares, you won’t have to live up to it.  I’d also pledge to bake fresh cookies every night and hand feed them to our nation’s poor and middle class before they go to bed.  No weapons, free cookies: LOTUS 2008!

9:31p: Funny thought — Kucinich going to the United Nations and talking tough.  Ha ha ha ha ha….

9:32p: Clinton says she supports the troop.  That faint noise in the background was everyone in the audience rolling their eyes in unison.  Too bad the troops don’t support her.

Here are some questions I’d like to ask:

Under what circumstances would you deploy troops to a foreign country?

For Edwards — How do you like the new Kiehl’s line?  Is it less greasy now?

Do you know that President Bush isn’t running in 2008?

For Kucinich — Is it true that media-types are keeping you around just so they can pan to your wife during the boring moments of the debate?

Why are you more qualified to spend my money than I am?

Would you rather be president or win a Nobel Peace Prize?  I’m sure we can arrange the prize, so feel free to think it over.

9:50p: GEEZ… Clinton brings up the Supreme Court handing President Bush the 2000 election.  Oh, I just thought of someone else who didn’t win the “popular” vote — her husband.  In two elections! 

9:53p: Gov. Richardson just complimented Senator Clinton.  Barf.  Richardson is going on and on about his resume again.  What has this guy not done?  Oh yeah, he hasn’t been a viable presidential candidate.  Zing!

9:57p: Edwards says no one on the stage is “pure.”  He just totally butchered the founders’ intent.  He said the founders decided in Philadelphia that the power shouldn’t be held in the rich, but in the people.  No, a-hole, the power shouldn’t reside with the federal government (i.e. you and everyone else on the stage).

10:00p: Biden: “Giuliani is the most underqualified person to seek the presidency since George W. Bush.”  “I’m looking forward to running against Rudy Giuliani.”  “Maybe I’ve been around too long and they’ve forgotten all the wonderful things I’ve done.”  Wow, settle down, Joe.  See above re: viable candidates.

10:07p: Obama brings up Giuliani again.  I guess they’ve already decided who the nominee is going to be.

10:09p: Now Clinton says there’s a trillion dollar tax on the middle class.

(Cupcake Break)

10:16p: Gotta love Brian Williams’ unbiased questions: Are the families in Iowa and New Hampshire doomed?

Biden says people are betting on things getting worse.  Yeah, they’ve been watching the MSM’s annointment of Hillary Clinton.

Edwards says his Justice Department will investigate oil companies.  Yes, that sounds like a appropriate job for the Justice Department. 

Kucinich reminds us that the war in Iraq was for oil during a discussion on why America doesn’t have enough oil.  Now he suggests impeachment because of their energy policies.   Another sound pronouncement from a 5th tier candidate.

(btw, maybe I’m just a dumb Southerner, but what is this home heating oil they’re talking about?)

10:24p Edwards links government incompetence to what happened to New Orleans after Hurrican Katrina.  Yes!  Last week Louisiana agreed and elected Republican Bobby Jindal. 

The Lightening Round is more boring, if that’s even possible.  I’m hanging it up for the night.  I’m guessing that Russert’s final question will be able about the Buffalo Bills.  Final thought: Politics aside, the most recent Republican debate was a lot more entertaining.

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Category: Dirty Hippies,Womyn

Italians do it better

Written by Lotus on Tuesday, 2 of October , 2007 at 9:13 pm

Sofia Loren vs. Bridgette Bardot

Sofia Loren

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Category: Womyn


LOTUS lives in Northern Virginia. NOTE: The views expressed on LOTUS blog are the author’s alone. Organizations listed on this blog are for identification purposes only.